Today I have once again apparently hurt someone that I have never intended in hurting. However, I have been hurt as well. I care deeply for this person, and I thought he cared for me. He says he does, and I believe him but then how can he say he is not going to give something to me because i can't love myself? I understand that he doesn't want to get hurt himself, I know how he feels, no one wants to get hurt. I would and hopefully have not hurt him in anyway, until today.
I am so confused as to what to do. I want to tell my friend how I care for him. I want to tell my friend that he means a great deal more to me then just a mere friend. I want to tell him that he is more like my best friend, him and his slave/spouse that is. I want to tell him that my feelings for him will never change and no matter what he says I will ALWAYS remain his friend.
I am so confused! What am I supposed to do? Not be me? I have never really cared that much for myself. I have never had any respect for my self. I don't know how to love myself. For most of my life all I have had is someone telling me I am not worthy of this that or the other thing... well guess what? When it is told to you enough and for so long, you tend to believe it. Then a great friend comes around, like my friend, and starts to make you believe it, and then he takes it all away from you??? What the heck am I supposed to do now?
Do I still continue to love and care for him and his slave/spouse? That is a BIG DUH question.. Of course I still care and love them both. I can't stop.
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