A Week Gone By

Well a week has gone by and let me fill you in on what has been going on in my life...

Wednesday was nothing exciting.  No really...  i have been trying to figure out where I belong in the world and what my meaning is on this earth and so far I have not come up with an idea or an answer.  I try and try and try to get people to understand how i feel and what it is I am wanting answers for.

Who am I?  What is my purpose of being here?  Is it just to be a mom?  What about being a wife? What about being a friend?  Am i just supposed to be a slave for the rest of my life?  What about my dreams?  What about my desires? What about my wishes and wants?  Am I supposed to just bow down and allow others to fulfill their dreams, desires, wishes, and wants before i fulfill mine?  Well guess what that is how i feel I am supposed to live my life.  Make others happy before I am happy. A lot of times I feel like my needs, are either second rate or non-existent.  When is it going to be my turn?

So Thursday I found out that there are more and more rumors going on about me changing my job position.  I have been told to deny anything and everything about it.  I have been even approached by someone that had heard the rumor, and i had to lie to that person and say i didn't know anything about what they were talking about. 

Well tonight I did it!  i finally broke things off with my potential slave.  I found out that she was looking for someone else to be her "daddy".  AND she was proud of the fact that she was talking to him and she claims she told me all about talking to him.  And i told her that I was tired of being lied to... i told her i am tired of being constantly let down and then I am also constantly tired of hearing the words... "i'm sorry"... half the time I don't know if she really is apologetic or just saying it as if to pat me on the head and shut me up.  I am tired of waiting around for her to get over the extremely strong feelings she had for MY Master.  she was in love with the man and he was not the only taken Master she has been in love with.  I told her it is over and that we are only friends..

Friday night I was not feeling good... I had physical therapy an d it went well  but i was getting a terrible headache so I went to bed super early.  so work went alright, nothing exciting, then physical therapy, came... he gave me a couple more exercises and then I got tapped you across my back (Like a giant "X" in the middle of my back done by tape.

Saturday came along and it was almost a nice day, I got to sleep late, 0830.  Got more of the laundry separated but not started, and just surfed the internet as well as got caught up on some reading.  It was nice, even though we went to his parents house.  We had fun, we got to watch the football game,  college teams, separate and yet equally good teams and we had fun doing it.  had a about a bottle of wine to drink and it was really nice to finally let my hair down.

Got home and went straight to bed.  I was getting my headache back for some reason and It was going into play full force.  I went to bed and eventually i got to talk to my other Master.  He was getting excited and was getting me excited about the trip I am going to make in 12 days.

Sunday... aaa hhh Sunday... laundry day, and cleaning house day... blah!!  The boys went outside to work in the yard while I sat inside the house, did laundry and did some more surfing on the internet.  The boys decided that playing and fixing things in the yard was not their cup of tea so they decided that I was going to make homemade chicken noodle soup.  It is not a difficult thing to do.  Heck the most difficult thing to do is remember where I put the stupid recipe for the noodles.  haha...

Well the soup was done and man was it good!!!  I think I had two big bowls full of it.  After supper the man I live with decided to make a joke and holler for me to meet him upstairs.  he looked at me dead in the face and said, "come here and have dirty sex with me..."  he should know that in 20 years of our relationship together, that like does not work for me, when he says it...  I don't want to have sex with the man and he can't seem to get that through his thick skull! So I giggled and walked back down stairs.  bluck!

Went to bed early so i could be awake to talk to the man I love and it was a very fun conversation.  I told him that when I come out there that i wanted to kiss him, and have a long talk with him.  That made him really nervous because he didn't know what it meant when I said that.  Little does he know that all i wanted to do is just make him a little bit nervous but I will tell you that I accidentally made him a lot nervous.

All in all this past few days, mostly the weekend, I did not get to talk to a couple of friends of mine because they were not home and I was busy as to not being on my chats.  I sure did miss them very much, even though I was busy and I know they were busy too.  i really enjoy talking to them a lot.