Today, all day, I have been having a bad mental day. i have been really trying to find a way to dig myself out of this huge hole I am in and I can not find a way to get myself out of it. Someone that I have barely known but only what seems like a couple of short months asked me today if I was alright, that he could tell there is something wrong with me, and we haven't even ever seen each other or spoken to each other in weeks. He said he could tell there was something wrong just by the way I was typing something. Then the girl that I am supposed to be "girlfriends" with, gives up on me and just says that we are no longer girlfriends and that we are just friends. She was talking to me and I was just getting to the part where I was going to open up to her and she freakin' turned it on about her being a slave and slaves don't have the right to force themselves upon someone. It ended up being about HER!!! Can't she just be a friend for 5 minutes? Why does it have to ALWAYS be about being a slave and a Dom? Why can't it ever just be about friendship? Did she even bother to ask if there was something wrong with me? Did she stick her neck out to say, I have noticed you have been quiet distant, is everything alright? NO! Instead what do I get? As a slave..... blah blah blah!
On another note, I was given the grand privilege of getting to share some pictures a couple of friends took today. They were very gorgeous! The colors of the butterflies and flowers were spectacular and vibrant. Then at the end they showed me a couple of pictures that looked like they were taken at dusk, the shape of the clouds you could see a butterfly. That made me tear up a little bit.i am so greatful that they shared their pictures with me.
16 days and counting until I get to go on my vacation. I hope i have as much fun as I anticipate I will.
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